Taking kids beyond the comfortable walls of the home can be dangerous for a number of reasons, but rather than stay inside to avoid all kinds of painful, awkward, terrible, uncomfortable, and enraging experiences that naturally arise from leaving the house with kids, I have to get out. I get cabin fever. For instance, I would rather tackle the joys and inevitable pains of taking several children skiing than sit at home and watch a movie on a cold winter day. Even if going out means my kids will need to be quiet, calm, and respectful in public (employing skills kids have difficulty learning sometimes), I’d rather work on teaching these skills to my children than stay home and vegetate. For example, I prefer to go to church meetings on Sundays with my kids (most of the time) rather than stay home.
I’m not a homebody, so I’d probably get out and about even if it weren’t healthy for me and my kids, but I’ve been thinking about a few benefits that may come from a willingness to take your kids out of the house and risk many uncomfortable moments for you, your kids, and the public. Here’s a few thoughts about these benefits.
Your kids will make you laugh—and maybe feel a bit embarrassed.
If you let your kids regularly experience the many wonders that exist outside of your house—out and about among neighbors, strangers, and friends—you are sure to have some great laughs.
The last Sunday outing to church with my family turned out to be quite memorable. When our young family entered the chapel, my five-year-old’s innocent conduct would have made many parents cringe and turn red in embarrassment. I, however, wanted to laugh out loud. We walked into the opening sacrament meeting a minute or two late (yes, we are not always on time, but we get there!), and the brother who opened the meeting was in the middle of announcing a community service project the coming Saturday in which everyone would first meet at the church to eat “doughnuts” together—a nice little incentive for those who participated. My five-year-old was ecstatic, only hearing the word “doughnuts.” As we carefully and quietly inched across the bench to our seats, he began yelling into the congregation: “Doughnuts! Doughnuts! Doughnuts!” My three-year-old also joined in, along with another child who is old enough to know better. My family became a lovely, youthful chant of “Doughnuts! Doughnuts! Doughnuts!” What a wonderful way to begin the meeting. And how much more wonderful than staying in the comfort of our home.
Although I didn’t laugh then, a few minutes later, further innocent child behavior almost got me to laugh out loud. This particular Sunday was fast and testimony meeting, where members of the congregation who are fasting can stand up and share spiritual feelings—referred to as a testimony. Generally, each testimony is given over the pulpit in front of the congregation, but in some congregations, a corded microphone is passed to members sitting in the benches of the chapel. A lady in our congregation who does not walk very well opted to use the microphone rather than trudge up to the pulpit. Almost everyone in my congregation uses the pulpit, so her speaking into the chapel speaker system from the back of the congregation was somewhat unique for my little family, which as seated near the front of the chapel. As she shared her testimony, my eight-year-old looked up toward the pulpit, heard the lady speaking, but couldn’t see her. He turned to me with a puzzled expression and asked, “Why is she invisible?” Awesome. Although nearly bursting out, my laughter kept itself inside. Again, what a wonderful memory brought to me as a result of getting out into the world with my kids.
Funny enough, when kids and parents are out together in public, it is often the parents who are the truly embarrassing ones. Who hasn’t seen a parent harshly scold a child in a public space for not acting like an adult—and in so doing create a truly terrible public display? (Yes, I’ve probably been that parent at times.) If I had yelled at my little five-year-old for innocently proclaiming his love for doughnuts, this would have been awkward and embarrassing. What he did as a child, although in a way unexpected, was expected. It was typically wonderful of how kids are. Although I should teach him good manners and should correct this outburst, I also should not be embarrassed, and I shouldn’t stay at home in an attempt to avoid embarrassment.
Because your kids don’t act like adults, you’ll make some enemies, but your kids will have a better shot at becoming healthy adults.
Maybe I am wrong, but I believe the general public is quite accommodating and understanding of children. Yes, some people believe kids are quite entirely terrible. Although these people acknowledge that kids are a necessary evil required to perpetuate the human race, they believe it is a crime to bring them into the public—especially if you, the parent, haven’t taught (or forced) the kids to act like adults. For example, a man at Walmart the other day collided with my not-paying-attention-where-he-was-walking five-year-old son, and the man looked at me like I had flipped him off. He seemed to say in his mind: “Look you stupid, irresponsible father, haven’t you taught your child to walk in a straight line and not get distracted? The impact of his reckless, thirty-five pounds of tender baby flesh almost snapped my leg in half! Had he been walking three miles an hour instead of two and a half, he likely would have killed me! He shouldn’t be in public unless he can act like an adult.” I responded in my mind: “Yes, sir, you are correct. I think I’ll go home and lock him in his room for the next decade and a half, far from the world. That way he’ll really develop into a normal and healthy adult member of society.” People like this Mr. Angry-at-Kids exist, but most people love kids and understand that it is OK to take your kids out into the world to do things like shopping—even at the risk that the kids might brush against an adult, knock down a display, or—heaven forbid—run down an aisle.
Kids who prefer, are encouraged, or are forced to stay at home, are likely to develop unintended problems and antisocial behavior, such as a serious relationships with their phones (or some form of a cyber world or electronics). These types of kids are the ones that scare me and who I think present a danger to society, not so much because of who they are now but because of who they may become: adults who simply don’t know how to function in society. The kids that get out into the world—talking with and bumping into strangers, actually speaking and playing with their friends rather than texting them, throwing real mud and dirt rather than cyber grenades at cyber enemies—are the ones who carry more of my hopes and who I believe have a leg up on becoming productive members of society. In the end, if you don’t want to take your kids outside because they’ll create awkward experiences, just remember that you may save you and yourself from awkward moments now, but these kids will more likely grow to be non-social, completely awkward adults—living in your basement for an awkward eternity.
Your kids may be less likely to avoid mental disorders as adults.
If you lead by example and get out and about, particularly into nature, your kids are more likely to get out and about themselves and receive very significant benefits: they’ll likely learn more confidence, creativity, responsibility, and they’ll exercise more and have less stress and fatigue. But the benefits to your kids may extend well beyond their youth. I was surprised to hear about a recent study that found a strong correlation between outdoor activity in green space and a lack of psychiatric disorders. This study showed that children who grew up interacting with the lowest levels of “green space” had up to a 55% higher chance of developing some kind of psychiatric disorder, such as depression. Even if this correlation isn’t necessarily causation, I certainly believe that the outdoors, especially clean, green, natural, and open spaces, immediately create happiness and peace. The dangers of the outdoors seem quite insignificant when I consider potential mental health problems. I am much more willing to let my kid fall into a stream, cut his knee on a rock, or get a terrible sunburn if it means preserving the health of his most important and sensitive organ: his brain. Cuts and bruises on the body heal much quicker and are far less serious to me than mental disorders.
If we or our kids don’t like spending time in the outdoors, far beyond the walls of our homes, or if we or they find these environments boring, there may be a big problem with our brains. The mental palette needs to be developed so that this type of activity becomes delicious. A diet of indoors and electronics just isn’t healthy. We and our kids are wired to be in nature—not in front of a screen—and if we’ve screwed that wiring up, we need to get help from the mental electrician.
In conclusion, three benefits of getting out of the house and into the public and nature include—in addition to curing cabin fever—great memories and laughs, social development for kids, and better mental health for the entire family. I’d say it’s worth it, even if your kid yells in a chapel, bumps into and offends a stranger, or falls and scrapes his knee in the dirt.