jgballstaedt, Author at Active with Children

10 Tips for Skiing with Your Kids

“Dad, I gotta go to the bathroom!!!” I hear that all the time when I take my kids places, but I especially love it when we are skiing. Each time this call comes, I wonder if I am skilled enough to navigate through seven layers of clothing so the kiddo can relieve himself on a pine tree before his bladder explodes. I’m generally successful—and I say generally because most of the urine ends up in the snow. This time, however, we were just yards away from the lodge, so I decided to do something unconventional while skiing: use a bathroom. We plowed to a stop in front of the lodge in what I thought was quick enough speed, but my oldest announced: “I wet my pants.” The snow below his left leg began to yellow. We had only been there a bit over an hour. “Well, let’s go home.” This was a typical experience on a ski day with my kids.

I have four kids, and I’ve skied with the oldest two for about three years now, and I’ve taken the three oldest—ages eight, six, and four—skiing almost every week this past ski season, and I’ve left Brighton Ski Resort (kids ski free there) in the Salt Lake City, Utah area on more than one of these occasions angrier than I like to admit, and a few times we’ve left extremely happy, but most of the time we leave cold and tired, somewhere between content and annoyed. But it is an investment for me, and I believe that good, wholesome recreational activities are valuable for building a happy family, and if I can get them hooked on skiing as kids, we’ll love skiing together in the decades to come.

I have a little sample size of one dad with three kids (my wife stays home with our two-year-old girl for now), but I’d like to share a few “dos and don’ts” of skiing with kids.

DO #1 (and the most important of all): Make it fun!

Kids are kids, and if skiing isn’t fun, they aren’t going to like it, and they won’t want to go. (What I novel thought, right?) Games I have made up on the fly have been very helpful. My oldest, an eight-year-old likes to play hide and seek. He skis ahead and my second oldest, a six-year-old, and I spy for him. If we spy him in behind the tree branches or snow bank, we get a point. If we don’t, he does. (Yes, I have wondered if I have lost him a few times, but he loves it.) To motivate my six-year-old to learn to turn, I played tag with him. I stick my poles behind me and make big turns, telling him that if he can touch my poles 10 times, he wins. He loves it. I doubt these games will work for every kid, and obviously games don’t need to be based on scoring points, but whatever you do and however you ski, make it fun.

DO #2 (and a prerequisite to DO #1): Keep your kids warm and comfortable.

I’ve often heard people say about the home: “If Mamma aint happy, aint nobody happy.” Kids, not Mamma, rule the ski slopes. “If even one kiddos aint happy, anit nobody happy.” And the quickest way to lose happiness is to the cold. I load as many layers on my kids as possible. The more layers the better, I have found—as long as they can still bend a few key joints. I started carrying a backpack for shedding layers, but I rarely use it. When by myself, I ski hard and generate body heat. Even if I am cold on the way up the lift, I warm right up on the way down the hill. Not so with kids—at least not mine. They are small and have less body heat (yes, I am good at pointing out the obvious), and they don’t get warmer on the workout down the mountain. They just mosey downhill all day, perpetually losing body heat unless properly insulated. I’ve never heard them complaint about sore legs from working moguls, but they will certainly let you know if they are at all cold (and I’ve heard complaints about pretty much everything else too, of course). One time I didn’t realize how few layers my kid put on (be careful about letting them dress themselves), and not only did it completely ruin our day, but eight-year-old actually froze up so well that he failed to get off a lift. He was on my left, and as we exited the lift, my focus was on my four-year-old kid to the right. When we settle after the exit, my eight-year-old had disappeared. I found him twenty yard back behind, downhill, laying dazed and confused in his hypothermia. He had aborted the chairlift when the ground was just a few feet beneath him, before it got too dangerous. (I’m not sure how emergency protocol didn’t stop the lift first.)

DO #3: Ski often and for short periods of time.

If possible, get a season pass and use it frequently but only for a few hours at a time. If you are like me and don’t have hundreds of dollars to blow on skiing each weekend, and you put all your hopes in a full, fun day with your kids on the slopes, not purchasing a season pass, you will probably pay a few hundred dollars that will only make you more invested in sticking it out to the end, further ensuring disaster. From my experience, kids only generally enjoy skiing for up to a couple hours or so, not a full six or seven hours of skiing. You can extend this time with breaks and creative and encouraging tactics, but even the adults I ski with don’t like trudging through a full day of skiing. If you have spent a few hundred dollars on this occasion day with your kids, you’ll likely want to push through your kids’ cold fingers, tired bodies, disinterest, or whatever it may be. You’ve spent so much on one of a few ski days that legitimate reasons to slow down or call it quits won’t persuade you, and your kids will likely start to hate skiing. Conversely, if you ski a kid portion day, they’ll likely grow into the ski bum you are looking for. The chances will be much higher that the cold, a fall, or some other bump along the road (or ski run) won’t phase them.

DO #4: Use incentives and heavy encouragement.

I bring a bag of candy with me that I pull out of my backpack on the way up each lift. If my kids have been positive and happy on the way down the slope, they expect the reward of—and I provide—a piece of candy of their choice on the way back up. This is sometimes the funnest part of the day for them, which is not surprising given the fact that they are kids. Whatever motivates your kids—whether it is candy, words of affirmation, money (I don’t especially like this one), etc., use it.

DO #5: Ski with other kids and supportive adults.

Kids love being with other kids, and I have found that the level of my kids’ whining during certain activities decreases if they are with kids of their same age. For example, my kids don’t ask to go hiking and sometimes find reasons to complain when we get them onto short trails, but they rarely complain when we are hiking with friends who have kids of the same age. The same is true with skiing, I have found. I have almost exclusively skied without other families, but when I managed late last season to coordinate a ski day with my friend and his kids of similar ages, my kids were instantly more excited, more positive, more inclined to get lost in the social excitement, more willing to show off their skiing abilities, and overall more excited about the whole ski trip. I suspect that kids would thrive in ski school for this reason, but I have not been able to get myself to pay the extra cost for ski school (something I’ll likely invest in this next season).

Having other supportive adults around, if possible, is also huge. I almost always ski alone, but when my friend’s kid’s ski fell off while going up a lift, it was much easier to get back down the hill with me carrying the one-ski child and him managing the rest. Also, if one child needs to take a bathroom stop, another adult can wait outside with the remaining kiddos. So if possible, ski with your spouse or partner or make sacrifices to coordinate a ski day with friends.

This next year, I managed to entice my wife into buying a ski pass so she could ski with the kids too, something she has not really thought of as a fun weekly activity (and she is right quite often—skiing with kids can be miserable). I would still ski without her (and she loves the breaks when I take the kids without her, and I’ll still likely ski without her help quite a bit), but I am pumped to have the extra help—and my more compassionate half—to ensure that our ski days run smoother and are more exciting.

DO #6: Stay positive.

This is really just another way of stating DO #1, making the day fun and positive. Kids thrive off of your energy, whatever it may be. If you are happy and supportive despite the challenges of the ski day, your kids will more likely find success and enjoyment in skiing.

DO #7: Don’t get angry!

Like DO #6, this is simply another way of telling you to make skiing with your children fun. If you get angry, the day will be anything but fun or exciting. Don’t get angry, no matter what you do. I personally know the dangers and consequences of getting angry, because—I regretfully admit—I have too often lost my cool while skiing with my children. These days have been somewhat disastrous, and they have put skiing at risk of becoming an entirely negative experience for my kids.

DO #8: Keep your kids warm and comfortable.

This DO #2 repeated verbatim, and it is really just a prerequisite of ensuring that you accomplish DO #1 and make the day fun. I repeat this requisite for emphasis. If your kids get cold, they will not have fun, and the day will be a disaster. If you need to take hot chocolate breaks after every run down the hill, do it. Do whatever it takes to keep those little bodies warm.

DO #9: Make it fun!

This is DO #1 repeated verbatim for emphasis (and the essence of DO #6, DO #7, and DO #8). If all else goes wrong, make the ski day with your kids fun. If your kids stink at skiing, somehow laugh. If your kid falls over on the easy runs and gets hurt or scared, either keep him or her happy there with whatever magic you can conjure as a parent or drop down to the bunny hill—or do whatever else it takes. Encourage your kid, support your kid, and make him or her feel special and loved. Make the ski day a fun and positive experience no matter what. Don’t put your needs or enjoyment before his, or neither of you will be happy.

DO #10: At all costs, make the day exciting and fun!

I will beat the dead horse deader. In case you don’t believe me on what the focus of skiing with kids should be, I am repeating DO #1 and DO #8 (which is the essence of all the the other DOs). Do anything and everything you can to ensure that your kids have a positive skiing experience. Put your kids first, sacrificing your own desires. Make sure they have fun, not you, and in the end (whether that day or when your kids are talented skiers), skiing with your kids will be incredible!

Summary: Keep your kids warm and comfortable, and do anything and everything to make each ski day exciting and fun, which is likely impossible unless your kids are warm and comfortable.

Seven Ways to Make Horse with Your Kids More Competitive and Fun

I love playing a good, competitive game of Horse (or H-O-R-S-E) in the front yard with friends. As my kids get older, they are becoming my best friends, and I want to spend more and more of my active, recreational time with them. I’m a much better basketball player than my kids, the oldest of which is eight (I know–this means I’m NBA caliber). Horse isn’t very competitive or balanced unless I add in one or more handicaps or equalizers, which makes the game much more fun for my kids. Here are a few I’ve experimented with that have resulted in my six- and eight-year-old beating me over and over despite my most diligent and concentrated efforts. I will obviously phase these handicaps out, or use less of them, as my kids get older. (Eventually, I’ll use these handicaps against my kids.)

The Rules of Horse

If you have never played Horse, here are the basic rules. Horse is one of the most common shooting games in basketball. Any number of players can participate. On a player’s turn, he shoots from any location, trying to make the most difficult shot possible. If he misses, it is the next player’s turn. If he makes it, all other players must attempt to make the same shot, and each person that misses gets a letter in the word “horse.” The original shooter shoots again until he misses and it becomes the next player’s turn. Play continues until every player but one has earned H-O-R-S-E and been eliminated. Essentially, five misses or “strikes” and you are out.

There are at least two possible variations to Horse. Normally, it remains a player’s turn until he misses, regardless of who successfully matches each made shot. However, some people play that once anyone misses, it is the next player’s turn. So, for example, if on a player’s turn he makes a shot, but the second of the five remaining players misses, it becomes the third player’s turn, and he doesn’t have to match the shot and risk earning a letter.

A second variation is giving two tries on each player’s last letter. If a player has earned H-O-R-S, he must miss the same shot twice to earn the final E and be eliminated from the game.

Possible Handicaps or Equalizers

1. Play on a shorter hoop. This is the easiest way to bridge the gap between you and your kids. Shooting into a ten-foot hoop (one that is less than twice my height) is a difficult height for many kids. For a four-foot-tall kid, shooting way up into a ten-foot-hoop is similar to me shooting up into a fifteen-foot-hoop, approximately. (I am about six feet tall.) If you ever get the chance to shoot into a hoop this high, you’ll be more understanding of a little tyke trying to shoot into a standard ten-foot hoop. Think about using a shorter hoop to make it easier on your kids, but get your kids to the standard ten-foot hoop as quickly as possible. They’ll enjoy basketball more in the longterm if they can compete without this and other handicaps

2. Have your kids play with smaller balls. Kids have smaller hands and smaller arms and smaller bodies. It is much more difficult for them to shoot a standard size ball, and a good equalizer is for them to shoot with a smaller ball that is more proportional to their body size. But use a smaller ball like a shorter hoop: as little as possible.

3. Shoot from twice as far away. Try shooting a free throw ten times. Then shoot ten more times from twice this distance. I suspect your shooting percentage will decrease by more than twice. Shoot a three pointer ten times. Shoot ten times from twice this far, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you make a few three pointers but none from twice as far. Shooting from twice as far away is more than twice as hard sometimes and perhaps the quickest way to make you the underdog against your young kids. This is especially true if they can make free-throw distance shots because you’ll be required to make three balls from well beyond the arc.

4. Play you against multiple kids. Here’s how this can work. Child A shoots. If he makes it, you have to match it. If he misses, it is Child B’s turn. After you get through Child B’s turn, and ever other child on the kid team, then you get your turn. In other words, your kids get two, three, or more turns for every one of your turns. If you want to make it even more difficult, let each of your kids try to match any shot you make. For example, if you make a shot, Child A tries to match it, then Child B, and any other child playing. If any of them makes the shot, they don’t lose a point. However you use this handicap, only let the kid team earn a potential of one letter for every shot you make.

5. Shoot with your left hand. If the above methods don’t provide enough equalization, a simple handicap is shooting left-handed–or with your non-dominant hand. Your kids can still shoot with whatever hand they want (or with both hands).

6. Require that your shots be swishes. Your kids can bank it, bounce it, or swish it in, but if your shot hits the rim at all, even if it goes down, it is not a successful shot. Only a swish–nothing but net–counts.

7. Shoot with your eyes closed. Take a good look at the hoop, close your eyes, and imagine the ball going in as you release the ball. Let your kids shoot with their eyes wide open. This handicap alone may equalize the playing field.

There are certainly other ways to level the playing field and make Horse with your kids a healthy competition that you and your kids are more likely to enjoy. I would love to hear about these other variations.

Six Benefits of Taking Your Young Kids on Runs in a Jogging Stroller

I have run at least one marathon a year for over the past decade. During this time, my wife has had four kids. These little tykes do not add more time to our life (surprise!), but they certainly enrich it, and I’d give up running for them—if I had to. Fortunately, I don’t need to. I’ve trained for a dozen or so marathons with them by my side (or rather, in a running jogger I push), logging hundreds and hundreds of training miles. I don’t see it as a chore. Although I enjoy and need a few solo runs here and there, I generally prefer the companionship of the kids inside the stroller. Here are six benefits I’ve realized from running with my kids, although there are many more. They are also six reasons you should run (or keeping running) with your kids.

1. More time to exercise

Making time each day to exercise is tough. After we work, sleep, eat, and take care of other life responsibilities, we may only have an hour or two of time left each day. Some surveys [JB1] suggest that parents with children under 18 years old spend, on average, about two hours a day taking care of their kids. Although not always possible or appropriate, if you can kill two birds with one stone by mixing some of your child-caring time with exercise, your chances of fitting in a good workout each day will increase dramatically. I might not recommend lifting weights with kids or swimming laps with kids, because you probably want your kids to live to adulthood, but I recommend pushing your kids in a running jogger. You can probably fit it into your schedule better than you think. For example, if you need to be home while your child naps, and if your kid falls asleep in the car (or in a jogger), go for a run when its nap time. Or if you need to pick something up from the grocery store, run there with your kids. You may have access to a gym with a daycare, but if you don’t, or if you want to save money or want to enjoy other benefits of running with your kids, take them along with you on a daily run or walk.

2. More time with your kids

Again, time is a finite commodity, and running with your kids on board a jogger is an opportunity to spend quality time with your kids. A run with your child may just add to the “quantity time” bucket, and you may need to focus on filling the “quantity time” bucket in other ways, but you might be surprised at how meaningful your runs become. For example, if your child is old enough to talk and small enough to fit inside a running jogger, taking him or her on a run (or walk) might allow you two some good one-on-one conversation time with few distractions. Most of my kids enjoy the ride in silence, which has other benefits, but sometimes I find my runs filled with conversations centered on whatever comes into the mind of a three- of four-year-old. Try to make the run a quality time experience with your child. Studies show that kids with regular quality parent-child time have less behavior issues, better mental and emotional health, and improved physical health—in addition to the same benefits to you.

3. Better exercise

If you have a smooth jogger, the extra weight may not change the run as much as you think. But, as expected, a few studies show that running with a running jogger leads to more sweat: it requires 5% to 8% more energy and increases heart rate, lactate concentration, and the rate of perceived exertion and ventilation. I agree. Running with kids is certainly physically harder, especially when the run involves hills. While going up a moderate hill on a solo run is a mild shift in the workout, the same hill can become a beast when pushing a couple kids in a jogger. A steep hill can easily feel two or three times harder when done with kids. Coming down a steep hill can also be a bit tricky. The added weight increases your forward momentum and makes stopping harder. Although I wouldn’t avoid hills, I might ease my way into them. (And when you tackle a hill, make sure you kids cheer you all the way up!) If you are worried about how your body can handle pushing a stroller, ease into it. And if you are training for a specific race and have a specific training runs that you think may not work with kids, modify it a bit. My experience is that you’ll still be able to get in most—if not all—workouts scheduled in your training plan. In fact, some of my very best marathon training was done almost exclusively while pushing two young kids. I did fast runs, slow runs, intervals, sprints, and even monster hills. And when I passed other runners, I looked like an Ironman.

4. Extra storage for running gear

I love running without a water bottle, a phone, nutrition, or other running luggage strapped to my body, but these things are often necessary, especially on longer runs. I would carefully plan what I would bring and what I would leave. When I started running with my kids, I started bringing it all: a couple water bottles, my phone, a few snacks for me and my kids, and extra clothing—in addition to toys, books, blankets, and other items for my kids. The extra weight isn’t very significant, unless, perhaps, the route is very hilly. Hills with even a light jogger load can be especially tough, as I mentioned earlier. Although I did not have the freedom and agility of a solo run, nothing was strapped to my body when I took my kid-and-accessory filled jogger. In a way, I have more physical freedom and comfort when I run with a jogger. Also, running with a jogger makes overdressing a non-problem. Too hot? Shed the extra layer and throw it in the jogger.

5. More outdoor time and better overall health

Most of us spend way too much time inside. Way too much. An excessively gross amount, in fact. Some estimate that the average American spends only 7% of his or her time outdoors, with kids spending an average of 4 to 7 minutes outdoors and 7.5 hours glued to electronics. This is not only surprising but incredibly sad. Enjoying the outdoors regularly provides proven health benefits, including boosted energy, an improved immune system, enhanced creativity, better vision, and restored focus—to name a few. We are also better people when we are outside regularly, exposing ourselves to God’s creations. You may not be able to escape to a beautiful mountain trail or an ocean boardwalk every day, but run to a local park or playground, and let your kids get out and get their wiggles out for a few minutes before heading home. It will be good for everyone.

6. A happier spouse or partner

This is one of my favorite benefits—if not overall favorite benefit—of taking my kids running. My wife is a stay-at-home mom and spends most days taking care of our kids. She loves them, as do I, but she also enjoys respites from the challenges they bring. If I come home from a long day of work and need to de-stress through a run, I take the kids with me, and she gladly welcomes the break as an opportunity to de-stress herself. When I come home, a little absence from me and the kids made the heart grow fonder. Also, I sometimes don’t set an alarm. Instead, I let my kids wake me up (usually earlier than we’d like). The pitter patter of little feet before sunrise means that my wife gets to sleep in while I get to put those little feet in a jogger and enjoy the awakening beauty of the world outside. When I arrive home, not only am I rejuvenated and ready for whatever the day brings, but I have a better rested and more loving wife.

Every family situation is different, and all kids are unique. You will certainly experience other benefits of running with kids in a jogger. I’d love to hear about them.

How Having Kids Has Made Me More Active and Healthy

For me, the initial catalyst for being active with my kids was running (i.e. pushing two toddler boys in a jogger).

My wife and I have four kids, ages 8, 6, 4, and 3. I know people who used to have sculpted muscles and beautiful, young bodies–until they got married, had kids, and soon found themselves hiding under a fluffy layer of sedentary buildup that some people accurately call fat. I am kind of like those people. I didn’t have a sculpted body before I got married, but I certainly became a bit fluffy.

Before I got married, I was an active marathon runner who had just set the goal of running a marathon each year. A few years into this goal, I found a beautiful partner, got married, became too busy in my education for regular exercise, and therefore fattened up over the next few years. I would still run a marathon each year, but these marathons were not pretty. Each rocky, untrained marathon did nothing for my overall health. It only reminded me that I no longer had my pre-marriage, active, much healthier body and lifestyle. The peak of this glorious era was a six-hour marathon. Although I finished, it was nothing to brag about. At one point, as I walked in pain, I was the very last marathon runner. Anyone behind me had already dropped out or passed out–and taken by the paramedics and taken in for medical attention or revival.

I found my first job in a cold, small town in Idaho called Rexburg, with 2 kids and 3 years of law school freshly under my belt (or my growing gut). Maybe I told myself I was too busy with kids to truly care about my body. I was unknowingly and slowly preparing for my Santa Claus audition–or my meeting with heart disease. Then one month, I was blessed with a new challenge. My oldest kid formed a habit of waking up incredibly early, well before the sun came up. Often, being the great husband I am, I let my wife sleep on while I vegetated on the couch with my boy. Soon both boys were awake, and I would try to screen out some mindless television show my sons were watching–probably Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on the Disney Channel–as I tried to fall asleep on the couch, the sun soon peeking into our basement windows. I’m not sure how many mornings I endured this routine before deciding that I’d had enough. I was going to put our jogger to use. (You know that contraption that most young, healthy parents buy and store behind all the boxes in the garage? Never really used? Yeah, one of those things.)

I slowly formed an awesome habit that not only made me feel great but helped create awesome memories with my boys. Instead of watching Mickey dance and sing each morning, I was excited when my boys woke up. It was time to run. In fact, I began returning the favor to my boys. If not both were up when it was time to run, I’d sometimes wake one and get the routine going: letting my boys watch–instead of the Disney channel–a couple miles of houses and farmland pass by on the way to what we called “Duck Pond” where we would rest, throw rocks into the pond (what kid doesn’t like this?), and return home in time for me to get ready for work. I preformed this routine in crisp summer mornings, in rain, and in the snow of Rexburg’s famously bitter winters.

Neighbors probably thought I was inhumane to do this to my kids, but I learned to keep them warm and entertained, and if for some reason I didn’t put them in a stroller in the morning, they’d ask me to. They loved the runs to Duck Pond.

Fast forward a couple years later, I had built myself into one of the best marathon training routines of my life, done almost entirely while pushing two young boys through hundreds of miles of Idaho neighborhoods and farmlands.. It wasn’t always pretty. My boys often screamed, got cold, and fought, and they almost always whined at some point. I sometimes had to use incentives and creative games to make the runs enjoyable for all of us, but overall, we all loved our regular jogger runs, including my wife who got a good chunk of kid-free personal time each day.

I now consciously look for ways to stay active and healthy despite having kids. In fact, my perspective has changed. I sometimes believe that it is because of my kids that I am healthier. Indeed, it was trying to find a better use of my time with my kids that motivated me to get out of the house and into a real-world adventure that Micky Mouse, bless his heart, just could not provide. And as my kids grow older, they are becoming more of participants than observers to these activity (and my wife’s activity). It’s a wonderful and sometimes terrible experience taking kids out into the world to do something active and physically healthy, defying the urge to stay sedentary at home. It requires a certain level of insanity, I sometimes believe. But it is awesome, and both parents and kids can learn to love it.

So here I am, sharing what I’ve learned and experienced, striving to be active in the process of raising young children. What I share is almost entirely anecdotal. It’s about my kids and family and our experience. It isn’t a scientific study to be relied upon by all parents striving for healthy kids and families. It tracks my ups and downs, my failures and successes, and my gut, which grows and slims as I continually battle the urge to be lazy while raising my kids. Take what you want from it, hopefully a few laughs. My main message to whoever reads (and to myself) is that having kids should not be an excuse to become fat and inactive. Rather, bringing kids into the world should give us even more motivation to stay healthy–to get us and our families out into the world as active human beings.

For me, the initial catalyst for being active with my kids was running (i.e. pushing two toddler boys in a jogger). I haven’t limited myself, however, to just running.